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Tom Pendergast's avatar

This was fun and interesting, even to someone who thinks that he is not in the least neurodivergent (is that a sign that I am or that I’m not?), but who is quite capable of finding fault in far too many places, mine and others’. My wife and I were having a debate about the phrases we use as self-criticism. I sometimes use “I’m an idiot,” but only for the most trivial of mistakes, whereas she would only use “I’m an idiot” if she really fouled up (and prefers never to use the phrase at all.) But I do find that when I really need to bring myself up short, I do use my first name, as in “Tom, you really need to ...”

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Sarah Priscilla's avatar

Great advice, Marjan!

One strategy I’ve implemented is very similar, but is based on my study of the Enneagram. I notice aspects of my personality (characterized by numbers 1-9 and 3instincts) that pop up and I name them. Internal critic is something like: “there goes my 1-wing again.” I’m not sure I tell it to shut up, but generally just recognizing and naming it is extremely helpful.

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